A Bunch of Crazy Stuff That Happens
Deceased; Bastard son of Lord Washburne
Bastardo Washburne suffered from Mad Cow disease, complicated by his magical talents. He describes his own obsessions thusly:
“As you may know, zombies eat brains, yet they have no minds of their own. The mental essense can only become more intense as it concentrates in the zombies’ flesh. Imagine a human
- or an elf, or a dragonborn - eating grass. We can eat it, but we get no nourishment from it. So instead we eat the cow, who eats the grass and concentrates its essense, and gain the nourishment of the grass indirectly. So to I have become the greatest genius of our generation by eating brain-fed zombie. Imaging what this could mean for our nation! Windows can carry the love of their late husbands. Orphans need not be a drain on our coffers; they can gain the maturity and wisdom of their late parents and fend for themselves…”
Bastardo was slain by adventurers Balasar, Khelnoz, and Wat. Balasar and Khelnoz did not survive the fight, and Wat retired shortly after.